Not only do we have expectations of others we also have great expectations of ourselves. And when we don’t live up to those expectations we can easily be upset with ourselves. We all know that being angry towards ourselves solves nothing and has no benefit. It simply deepens the habit and puts more emotional poison into our system. We only need to be gentle with ourselves, and accept ourselves as we are. There is no such thing as failure, only learning from situations – this is the kind of knowledge we need to have to heal the habit of remaining upset with ourselves.
When we get angry with others, we need to realize what we give to others is what we get back – this is the kind of knowledge we need in order to understand the story of our life, so we do not look back on life in anger as one filled with injustice. And yet, even with all the knowledge in the world, the habit of becoming angry will likely remain, even in subtle (fine) forms. So it helps the healing process to keep forgiving, keep forgetting, keep understanding and moving on. But most off all keep visualizing. We need to keep visualizing ourselves being free of anger in situations and relationships where before anger was common.